Have you been asking yourself the wrong questions all along?
IntrospectionI work with individuals from various industries and one thing they all have in common is not having the time and space to step back and reflect. They are too busy focusing on the day-to-day and continuously looking for ways to be more effective, but still stuck in the cycle.
But how can you start to turn this ‘not enough’ into ‘plenty’? It all starts with introspection.
Introspection can be such a powerful tool to create transformational mindset and behavioural shifts, enhancing our consciousness and creating sustainable change. When we start focusing on introspection, we are able stretch our limits and expand our capabilities, connecting with our sense of purpose and inner desires.
Working on your introspection involves combining two different observations: Internal and External.
Internal observation is us looking at our values, desires, reactions, thoughts, feelings and behaviors. What do these tell us about ourselves? Why do we do what we do or feel what we feel? When we start to look for these internal answers, we start to gain a clearer perception of our inner self and what makes us, us.
We’re then able to focus on external observation – our self-awareness – and understanding how other people perceive us and the impact we have on others. How do our actions or our reactions affect those around us? How do our values, desires or feelings impact other people? Is my behavior having a positive or negative influence on others? These are the types of questions you will be able to answer once you start to focus on building up your self-awareness.
So, this all sounds great, but how do you get started?
Well, introspection all begins with asking yourself questions – the RIGHT questions.
Perhaps you want to understand why you react a certain way or take certain actions; maybe you are intrigued why you feel the way you feel when faced with a certain situation or challenge. Have you ever tried to look within for the answers?
What happened? Did you get what you wanted?
If not, maybe you were looking at it all from the wrong angle.
When facing triggers, we often start by asking WHY we are feeling or behaving that way. We want to get the answer as quickly as possible. We rationalize, trying to justify and our brain points us towards confirmation biases and surface answers to confirm our existing beliefs. We start to place judgment or blame on ourselves, ending in the reaffirmation of what we already thought we knew. We stay there, simmering, wallowing, dwelling with no clue on how to move forward in a healthy and productive way. Asking why can encourage negativity and even cause our brains to mislead us with their answers.
Instead, we need to shift from asking ‘Why’ to asking ‘What’.
‘Why’ questions focus on the past, but ‘What’ questions set the path for the future. With ‘Why’ we look for excuses, but ‘What’ encourages breakthroughs. ‘What’ questions help us go deeper, triggering our curiosity, and helping us to discover relevant information. That’s when the light bulbs really start to go off. We find clarity and uncover the path to action. And when that happens, we can focus our energy towards creating opportunities to move forward.
So, how can you reframe “Why” questions?
Instead of asking:
Why is this happening?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I do the same behaviours?
Why am I this type of person?
Ask:
What is happening here?
What is causing this to happen?
What is it that I am feeling?
What behaviors are not serving me?
What type of person am I?
Open-ended questions are powerful tools for self-discovery. Once you switch towards asking WHAT, you’ll open doors to different realms of your mind and soul. ‘What’ questions keep us open to receiving new information, even if that information isn’t exactly positive or what we had wanted to learn. When you take time to focus on introspection and self-awareness, you’re able to find answers and knowledge that you wouldn’t be able to tap into elsewhere. When you know who you are, you can create a life that resonates with your essence. You become more resourceful and start to really unravel what’s going on inside. Going inwards can be challenging. But digging deeper is the key to making conscious choices. And once you do, you’ll really awaken your inner force.
Share
