Do you really think the grass is greener on the other side?
InsideEveryone likes to look their best or show off their ‘best’ life, but in this age of social media, have we gone too far?
We’re always posting the photos where we think we look the prettiest, fittest, thinnest, where our lives look the most enviable, wealthy, happy. It’s impossible to live up to these harsh standards we impose on ourselves. Every time we reach the ‘milestone’ of finding a photo of ourselves we’re happy with, the journey starts again in search of the next photo to post.
We use these measures to compare ourselves to others and by doing so, we lose the capacity to appreciate what we have and accept who we are. We all suffer from the ‘grass-is-always-greener’ syndrome. We see others with things we think we want, and we let longing and comparison get in the way and overcome our gratitude and self-appreciation.
But stepping out of this vortex that swallows us up and diminishes our self-love can be really hard. Recognizing, understanding and embracing our imperfections and learning to instead see the ‘I’m perfect’ in ‘imperfection’ is a constant battle. Trust me, I know.
Two years ago, I stopped straightening my hair on a daily basis and embraced my natural curls. My hair was thinning, and I needed to take action to save it from all the damage I was causing it.
Now, this may sound like a simple step to take, but transitioning wasn’t an easy process, especially emotionally! I was going from an image of myself I thought was ‘better’ and instead opting to just be me. How scary a thought that was!
The transition was particularly hard as my curls were damaged and didn’t look beautiful right away. Every time I saw myself in the mirror, my self-consciousness would urge me to straighten it back. I was caught in this inner battle between the old me and the real me.
I started hearing a lot of disapproving comments: “we liked your hair straight better”, “it is not you”, “this doesn’t suit you”, and so on. I would think to myself: “what do you mean by that? This is my natural hair!” I felt flawed and doubted my decision.
This triggered me. We are talking about 18 years of human conditioning. I realized that this was not only about saving my hair. It was about saving my essence and my self worth.
That was me claiming my beauty and my power – my hair, my crown. I managed to win this specific internal battle and defeat my insecurity. And I must say, it is so freeing to let my curls be. To let myself be my natural self, and fully embrace that. And it is also amazing to have the option to spoil myself and straighten my hair once in a while if I want to, without feeling the need to.
This experience also made me think about what it means to ‘look your best’. Who are we dressing ourselves up for? Is it ‘our best’ we are trying to achieve or someone else’s idea of it?
When we start to think of striving for ‘the best’, we start to limit ourselves. We all have parts of us that need our kindness and acceptance, especially when it comes to what we look like. It’s important we take the time to address and understand these so we can start fully embracing all aspects of ourselves and living a more accepting and grateful story.
Let’s realise that imperfection is the new perfection. Our unique traits make us who we are. Just remember, every time you wish you had straight hair or thinner thighs there is someone wishing they had wavy hair or a curvier figure. So, the next time you don’t post a photo on your social media because you’re worried of how you look, instead list off the things you love about the photo. Maybe you’re at your favorite restaurant or you’re sharing unforgettable moments with friends. Perhaps the outfit you’re wearing makes you feel extra confident or the memory from that day makes you smile. Look for the small things in life and embrace every moment from an angle of gratitude, knowing that the grass is only greener when it’s watered.
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